The triumvirate of poetic devices comprising of paradox, oxymoron and irony seems to be my current obsessive compulsive disorder. 'Emphasis through irony', 'Moronic oxymoron', 'Moron's oxymoron' are the common phrases that pepper my bland ( I suspect people opine so, though do not mouth it due to politeness! ) verbal articulations, these days. Sample this. A hapless corporate honcho ( I call him a 'slave' ,though) buddy of mine happened to be the most recent 'beneficiary' of philosophical 'pearls of wisdom',when I declared,"You know dude, the most selfless man is the product of acute selfishness !" This was met with an expression which could have jolly well vied with that of Pallas who was made to face Medusa after his shield was stolen by Nemesis ! And then followed the unsolicited verbal diarrhoea," Listen a truly selfless man reaches such a plane of motivation that, according to Maslow he revels in his self-actualization. He is just concerned about his opinions about himself. The only motivation for him to define a desire to do something is his personal happiness. So, now tell me chief, did I make myself clear ?" He shook his head with an oscillation significant more for its frequency than its amplitude and which implied:This incorrigible dimwit of a nincompoopic pseud is doomed for sure ! Incorrigible I am, for, I don't seem to learn the art of keeping my trap shut.
Cut to a more recent frame ( Hopefully one that would put me in a more decent one !). The occasion happened to be one when I was having a poignant discussion with one of my lady friends who also happened to part of the Parent Teacher Association coterie of my nine-year old 'junior's' school. The subject veered into future plans about our children's education. And I stated quite innocuously about my plans to seek admission for the kiddo in a well-ranked and time-tested residential working on educational philosophies resembling those of mine. A school working on the thoughts of an erudite and modern thinker and educationist. She immediately went on a tirade against my decision, going on and on about how imperative it was for me to take a call on my decision ( As if 'Junior' had already secured admission in the aforesaid school !).Getting on the defensive, she almost stated ( she must have called the mode subtle !) that her kid deserved something much better and he was getting it all at home. To which, I (read unlike other parents) didn't nurse the 'holy ' notion that I could offer the best option to my child at home. And that, all parents had glaring limitations which were paradoxically being tom-tommed as assets by them. Having been politely shut up the assiduous lady's sermon ( ladies, at times, do love to go on with their lop-sided arguments, just because they perceive that they have won the previous round by sedulously rattling on !) now moved to competitive exams at school level and how important it was to build in young minds the 'competitive spirit' She gloated about the tutor who was 'training' her young turk for a State level competitive exam in Mathematics. And very kindly, she asked me ,"What do you think Mr.Iyer?" To which I replied, " I am more of a sucker for being ambitious. So , deliberate competitiveness is not my scene."
She gave me a quizzed look, which meant 'So what's the difference ?' And I went on with my 'gyaan' about how being ambitious was about carving a niche for yourself, about creating an inimitable slot for yourself and not about scampering around with multitudes for pre-ordained slots. I added authoritatively and quite 'male-bitchily' that competitions were meant for the mediocre who loved to delude themselves that they were notches above the commonplace , while being ambitious helped one take care of petty competitions without being so deliberate about it. The lady didn't know what hit her! And I on my part, resembled Oscar Wilde's Remarkable Rocket , which felt that it was so clever that it often failed to understand what it spoke !
And, dear reader, on your part, it is you who has to perceive or judge ( they are two different ball-games altogether ! ) whether I have been honestly self-depreciating or dishonestly pompous or honestly pompous or dishonestly self-depreciating. Choose your combination . And do comment !
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